One of the toughest challenges of positive parenting is how to set limits with our children.
How to set limits effectively, for both our sanity and their well being, and turn these ‘parenting moments’ into win/win situations is daunting. Many parents shy away from tough issues, resort to blackmailing or punitive techniques–whatever works! Recently at a parenting workshop, I was offered a new perspective by my friend and certified parenting coach, Elahe Mehrel.
How to effectively set boundaries, while fostering respect and self esteem is no less than an art form.
Parenting techniques that help you set boundaries effectively, eliminate power struggles, ‘reclaim your cool,’ while creating an atmosphere of collaboration, love & respect … well, these can certainly be God sent.
Elahe presents four powerful principles which help us shift the way we look at the interaction between parents and children. These four principles shift how we consider painting on the canvas of this relationship, which affects us so profoundly.
- Nurture the space between you and your children. When tensions arise, the space between you becomes polluted.
- Your biography is in your every step: instead of being ruled by your past, check your beliefs and decide what to pass on and what to transform.
- Children act out for a reason: the missing pieces of their puzzling behavior can be found when you create a safe space for them.
- Conflict is a gift: a parenting moment. These frustrations direct you to the areas that need healing.
From this vantage point, how to consciously discipline our kids may be the work, and the gift, of a lifetime.
“Our homes are laboratories where we are constantly experimenting with the most effective ways to transfer our values and our love to our children. Conflicts can be golden opportunities to illuminate the dark neighborhoods of our own psyche. ” – Elahe Mehrel